Dress Shopping, Expectation’s Vs Reality

When it comes to wedding dress shopping we’ve all seen the films and programmes that have raised brides expectations to sky high heights that are more often than not unrealistic, unachievable and down right ridiculous…

The Expectation

 You walk in the shop and are greeted with a bottle of champagne, comfy sofas and being waited on hand and foot and then there’s the ooohing and ahhing over each dress and comments about how beautiful you are then that moment arrives where you try on THE ONE and the tears start streaming, fireworks are going off and your bridesmaids are crying, your mums a weeping mess and the shop assistants all come to see you and vow they’ve never seen a bride or dress look as beautiful and you look like and angel….

I’m here to tell you get over it!

The Reality

Now I’m not saying that your experience shouldn’t be special, fun, memorable or even emotional it’s an exciting time and most often the one woman have most been looking forward to for as long as they can remember but so many women go into the with such high expectations that 90% of the time they have a terrible time looking for a dress. I posted this for my day 30 – tips – for ‪#‎marriedmay‬ on Instagram and I thought it would be good to go into a little more detail on here as I know so many woman struggle to find a dress even though unbeknownst to them they may have already found it. Here is an comment I came across and is the reason I am addressing these falsities.

“Ok so went wedding dress shopping today and I REALLY liked a certain dress ….. Everyone there said how beautiful it looked but I was only 95% sure so surly it’s not the one ……. I feel like I will cry when it’s the one x anyone help me”

I have a feeling the 5% of her that wasn’t so sure is the part that expected all of the above now maybe not so extreme but so many brides assume tears are the only way to ascertain a dress is their dress. Now I have to stress a point here I am NOT saying that tears wont happen I am just saying that it will not happen for every bride, me included. Please don’t expect everyone to be in floods of tears when you buy your wedding dress! Just because your halo isn’t glowing, fireworks aren’t going off and everyone in a 5 mile radius isn’t bawling their eyes out does not mean it isn’t your dress, It’s your dress because of how YOU feel in it regardless whether your grinning ear to ear or crying like baby.

I didn’t shed a single tear when I bought my dress but I just knew it was mine I can’t imagine wearing any other on my big day I literally stare at pictures if it imaging my walking down the aisle in it and of all the dresses I tried on it was the only one that made me feel amazing and after that there was no competition and while we’re on the subject don’t expect trying on your dress to be like being ran over by a steam train. My warm up to my dress was gradual, It was the very first one I tried on well over a year ago I liked it but wasn’t over whelmed and as I’d literally just been engaged for 2 weeks and I really wasn’t planning on buying one at that point. Almost a year later I resumed my wedding dress shopping and tried lots of dresses on and there was one I kept coming back to and I was beginning to think it would be my dress but out of curiosity we went back to that very first shop to see if they still had the dress in, mainly to rule it out but this time when I tried it on and compared it to the others I’d seen I knew it had to be my dress and there was no turning back neither me nor my mother shed a tear but we both loved it and knew it was the one, I imagine the tears will come on the day but either way I love my dress.

Also not everybody will love it as much as you do. How many times have you screamed at an episode of “Say yes to the dress” because the brides entourage are trying to make all her decisions for her and veto every dress regardless of how much she loves it and the brides ends up confused, frustrated and with no dress. Just because you, your friends & the shop assistants aren’t looking like rejects from Kung fu panda and aren’t all screaming words of joy and praise does not make your dress any less exciting or special. yes it can be disheartening because it’s such an important purchase that we want everyone to love it but just think how many time have you seen a friends outfit choice and though “I hate that dress” “I’m not sure about those shoes” and “I would never wear that” because unless you a magically transforming Cinderella dress you just cant please everyone and at the end if the day all that matter is how YOU feel, that you love it, don’t let a lack of tears stop you from buying the dress you want it’s your day so just be you and to hell with everyone else!

Hopefully you can go into buying a wedding dress with clear expectations. It’s ok to be unsure and think things over it”s the most important dress your ever going to wear and it needs to be right but more importantly it need to be you.

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